Would you try a sleep divorce if it could improve your sex life?
A new survey of 2,000 couples suggests that sleeping apart, in separate beds, could lead to better quality.
The research found that four in ten couples now sleep apart most nights, and that of these, 34% claim they have better quality sex and more of it, while 38% say that sleeping apart had improved their relationship overall.
Couples listed various reasons for snoozing in separate beds, including having different sleep cycles, their partner moving around too much in bed, having different shift patterns, and – the big one – snoring.
We know that getting a good night’s sleep can help our sex lives, increasing sexual desire and pleasure, so it makes sense that if you sleep better separately, your sex life might improve as a result.
High quality sleep lowers stress and improves mood – both of which will make you more keen to get intimate with your partner.
If you struggle to sleep in the same bed as your partner, whether because of snoring or tossing and turning, it does seem like a logical solution to get your own bed.
Better sleep doesn’t just mean better sex, but also better work performance.
But a separate snooze can reduce opportunities for intimacy – 24% of those who slept separately said they had sex less frequently as a result.
Take out the nightly snuggles in the nude and it can be easy to sort of forget about sex in favour of snoozing.
As a result, a sleep divorce can necessitate scheduling sex to make sure intimacy stays strong, or just making time for skin-to-skin contact in your waking hours to replace the late-night spooning.
Bensons For Beds Sleep Expert, Stephanie Romiszewski, said: ‘If you need to, separate the bedrooms.
‘It is the social norm that we should sleep together – but we weren’t made to sleep in someone else’s sleeping pattern.
‘In the worst-case scenario, don’t be ashamed to sleep in a separate room if you need to – you will have a good night’s rest and potentially less arguments.’
If you do feel like you’d miss out on intimacy by sleeping apart, however, it’s worth trying other solutions to remedy sleeping problems.
If your partner’s snoring is wrecking your sleep, it’s worth trying out an anti-snoring pillow before investing in a sofabed.
It’s also essential to talk to a GP to check that snoring isn’t a symptom of a more serious sleep disorder, such as sleep apnoea.
Remember that what works for one couple might be terrible for you, and that how you sleep is really up to your preferences.
As long as you’re snoozing well, you go ahead and keep doing what you’re doing.
Mind coach Anna Williamson told Metro.co.uk: ‘There really are pros and cons to sleeping apart from your partner, the main thing to bear in mind is that every couple and every individual is different and there really isn’t one size fits all when deciding what is best for you in your relationship.
‘If your partner is restless in the night, perhaps they snore or breathe heavily, and as a result keep you awake or disturb you throughout the night, it can be a good idea to sleep apart from your partner in order to catch up on some much needed sleep.
‘Good quality sleep is so important for our mental health as well as our physical health, we need to give our mind and body time to properly rest and repair, and only quality sleep can provide this adequately.
‘Having an unbroken night’s sleep and being able to lay in bed with plenty of room at the right temperature that suits you might mean on occasion that you get a better night’s sleep sleeping solo.
‘Physical contact is essential in keeping a relationship connected.
Touching each other releases feel good, love endorphins, and often being in bed can be the best time of the day to communicate effectively with each other.
‘Pillow talk is a really emotionally positive thing to do and it can help you feel safe and secure as you both hopefully drop off to sleep together.’
Our recommendation: if you’re curious about sleeping apart, do a trial separation and see how you feel.
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