“Love blinds, and absolute love blinds absolutely”. Youthful exuberance, the curiosity attached to it, and the propensity for high handedness sometimes results in the negative, landing some of them into the realms of mediocrity. Before the vows, what should be the normal signals?
Before any boxer mounts the ring to trade punches with the opponent, he had to endure himself through couple of months of training, equipping himself adequately, shedding of some habits, whilst taking on some other techniques in order to condition the body and mental psyche to face the bout which only expires in 36 minutes.
Why should someone train for days to face a contest of just 36 minutes? To train or study for a whole year only to write an exam which last an hour. It is so because, the outcome of the 36 minutes bout is determined by the preparedness of the boxer across the period in review.
Adversely, successes in marriage is rather determined by the few moment of mental conditioning compared to the longevity of marital life expectancy. While sectoral examinations warrant more period of preparedness and mental conditioning, marriage attracts shorter period of preparedness. It is solely attributable to the followings which when not dully harnessed, served as a bone of contention. Heart. Soul, Spirit and Emotions.
A) When the heart decides, so be it. Painstakingly, the journey towards marital expedition is so rugged that it necessitates using the head (that’s our mental conditioning more) than what our eyes and heart could see or perceived. Sight is always deceptive. Our worldviews are always preemptive and built upon what we see or perceived.
Our heart becomes infatuated with what is fed to it by physical vision of the object. At that apogee, no amount of caution, reprimand or gloomy prognosis could negate the temerity to engage in relationship. As the adage goes, men are moved by sight, and women are moved by sound.
What makes one person go crazy wouldn’t enthuse another, bearing in mind that, the natural reactions of our human metabolism differs from the other. What do I mean?
A skinny or cute person (prior to marriage) looked charming and mouthwatering but after some couple of births, becomes fleshy, losing her shape due to hormonal functioning against blood infusion from the opposite sex.When one loses the preferred shape after the period, what happens?
When the boobs (which prior to childbirth looked sharp and seasoning) started nosediving, what happens next? Subject to the above, what the heart decides must be synchronized in tandem with what the head perceived.
The mental preparedness and preoccupation must certainly prioritize over the heart desires, knowing adequately the recycling of the human body system and evolution which is inevitable after some deliveries.#I may decide, based upon personal preferences or historical antecedence, but psychologically, one must be judiciously in tuned to the positives and negatives of the aftermath which will then not be a bother.
B) The soul of a man is the image of his being, and the embodiment of his thinking, his likes and dislikes determining who is made of.
In the wisdom of God, the mystery behind two becoming one, which is substantially spiritual (which we will be treating later), whereby two soulish entity (as different as they are) suddenly becomes unified to each other in flesh and blood, is broken.
Whichever way one looks at it, two persons cannot be the same, even those coming from same genes can never be the same, leaving the mathematics as presented by God to be spiritual. As a result of two persons not being the same, no one take few months or years to know a person of the opposite sex adequately, and moreover, coming from a different background.
Interestingly, perfection is beyond the realms of the mortal man, therefore incompatibility or differences becomes inevitable in relationships which everyone must be made aware of. But albeit that, male female intimate relationship must surely prevail due to the purposes of God for man on earth.
The determinant of the soulish match of probable spouses can only be guaranteed by divine prerogative because the purposes of God cannot be synonymous with the purposes of man.Incidentally, the purposefulness of both male and female to conform or commit themselves to whatever arises is the remedy to successful relationship under the sun.
It would be an absurdity for anyone to know the probable spouse exhaustively before exchange of vows. The practicality of knowing a person very well is evidenced by constant closer bond with one another for a longer period hence the purposes of God that, “what God has joined together, let no man separate”.
What does that mean? The individual attributes of each person becomes blended after the vows and beyond. It can never be eventful, it is a process.
In the natural composition of the creator, human being is flesh and blood (though in the representation of God’s image) who only lacked the glory of the most high, therefore cannot possess or represent infallibility. Man is fallible. Human beings are fallible. No man or woman is a perfect being.
C) Man is simultaneously made up of three embodiment namely, body, soul and spirit. Man was originally created a non-living soul before the breath of life (life giving spirit) was breathed into his nostrils to become a living soul (Gen 2:7).Man dwelled in a mortal body being controlled by the soul and spirit. In that order, the body and soul works in tandem with each other whilst simultaneously, the soul also integrated with the spirit.
The soulish spirit is the center of action of every human being in identifying his/her destiny, the strength of his/her natural soulish spirit in comparison to others (Prov 20:17/ Jer 17:9-10/ Rm 11:33).More importantly, the natural quality of the sexes is vital but the other side of probable spouses must be well investigated before decision is taken.
There are people (especially Africans) whose births are solicited from shrines (or external supernatural forces) and as a result of that, such personalities are permanently enslaved and becomes servitude to those shrines.
If strenuous effort is not exerted to nullify and truncate those links, it surreptitiously lurks around with unseen hands and works against the relationship in a replica of spiritual marriage. Thorough investigation about the background of both spouses may surely disclose the spiritual standing of each other if well executed (Rm 8:16-17).
By Sammy Ladzekpo.
To be continued …….