Years back, weddings were organised in moderation and within the means and budget of couples.
The most important aspect was to ensure that families of the bride and the groom were brought together in the church for blessings.
With very affordable and not so expensive gowns and suits, the couple offered enough food, pastries and different types of assorted drinks for guests (receptions), which buffets were never part of the after ceremony.
Unfortunately, weddings have become so expensive these days.
There is what they call pre-wedding and post-wedding photo sho0ts, bridal showers, makeup artists, special decorators, hair stylists, pre-wedding parties as they call it (bachelor and bachelorette nights), about 10 brides maids and groomsmen all of who need to be clothed or dressed up with newly sown dresses and what they call after wedding reception, all in the name of classic wedding.
Couples nowadays do not even want their wedding ceremonies in the church anymore.
They rather prefer to rent huge places and do what is recently called “Garden wedding”.
On the Sundays after the wedding, dinners are held for those they call “special guests”. Here, other kinds of foods and drinks are as well shared.
Finally, the bride and groom go on a honey moon in 5 star hotels.
All theses ends up with huge loans from banks in order to meet all these accoutrements.
Biblically, a traditional marriage has been defined by “a state instituted and ordained by God for the lifelong relationship between one man as husband and one woman as wife.”
Today, due to the unsatisfactory of life, and wishes beyond ones capabilities, many young people ends up in debts in the name of weddings.
Marriage is beautiful
Yes! I agree marriage is beautiful, and love as others may say can make you go the extra mile, to put smiles on your partners face.
But wait a minute! Have you taught of the hardship after the wedding?
Many young people today, without any savings wants classic wedding dress, shoes, receptions and cake, with an empty pocket.
Many forget the real marriage is what happens after the wedding ceremony.
The oldies marriage
I know many of the young ladies and gents will say, we have passed those days, “we are in the 21st century and must enjoy our weddings.
Yes! I agree with you, but give me a little time to cast your mind back to the oldies where the reality of weddings in centuries past was much more practical than throwing the garter, emptying bank accounts, doing the duck dance, going for loans, planning for weddings and merging bank accounts.
Weddings was not laid on the bases of loans then, unless you really have enough to spend
For most of history, it was all about traditional marrital blessings,reproduction and more of getting in-laws. It was also the main way you established cooperative relationships with other families.
Though the definition of marriage “an agreement between two people” has never changed, if you take a look into history it seems as though the idea of traditional marriage and wedding had its own meaning than today.
Let’s listen to what a victim has to say about weddings on loans.
A seamstress from Peki in the Volta Region, Mrs Loretta Boateng, sharing her experience said she went through so much sorrow and frustration with her husband just a week after their wedding.
This is as a result of taking a loan in order to have the best wedding forgetting what will happen after the enjoyments.
She said her husband and herself, had to battle with banks and courts for three years after marriage because of loan for wedding.
According to her, both of them had to sell some of their properties including lands in order to pay their depts.
“A sum of hundred and fifty thousand Ghana Cedis (GH 150.000) took away the joy we ever dreamt of after our marriage.”
“All fingers are not the same, just live within your limit and be happy with what you have; don’t go in for big things because others did, just be you”
She added that there is more to marriage after all the big weddings, which must be planned ahead of time before entering.
She further advice that parents speak to their children and guide them in taking decisions especially in relation to wedding plans.
“Parents must be on guard during their children’s wedding preparations, because over excitement can lead to wrong advice from their children’s co-friends.
Mrs Loretta further cautions mothers especially, not to overtake decisions for them, but rather guide them on the right paths, so as to not regret later in life as she did.
“Let’s rethink into the expenses being made for weddings wither rich or poor, especially when loans have to come in.”
To the young ladies
She added that to be a virtuous woman, you need to think outside the box of what makes you happy.
“You need to think of the happiness of the home and not yours, If you want your husband to be, to get you the most expensive rings knowing very well his monthly salary is GH 1,000, let him get you what he can afford.”
She added that young people stop fighting for what they don’t have, and appreciate the little things that bring them peace.
“Ladies, start dreaming of how to make the home a happy place, plan for the pregnancy, the light and water bills, support the man by reducing credit items.”
She added that young people plan and invests into the future for the next generation, than taking loans for weddings.
“Wedding is not the main marriage, but what happens after the wedding.”
Is good to have grand weddings, but watch it when unaffordable loans have to come in.
writer’s email: firstname.lastname@example.org